• Match your voice to the moment. Use a tone of voice that matches the limit you are trying to set for your child. Children are sensitive to tone of voice. Don’t use a strong tone for setting a minor limit – it can confuse your child.

• Tell, don’t ask. Use statements rather than posing questions. “Maria, please do not throw rocks,” versus, “Maria, please do not throw rocks, okay?”

• Redirect. Redirect behavior rather than removing your child from the situation altogether—unless someone’s safety is at risk. Example: “You’re so interested in my earring, but I can’t let you play with it. Let’s find something else for you to touch and pull.”

• Offer options—within limits. Give your child the power to make decisions within a limited range of options. Either option must meet your request. Remember, too many choices can overwhelm your child and frustrate you. “I know you want to take all of your toys with you in the car, but you can only take two. Which ones do you want to take?”

• Be prepared for tantrums. They are a part of your child’s learning to control difficult emotions and manage frustration.