How to Establish Limits and Boundaries

• Always take your child’s temperament and developmental level into account. Use simple language for younger children, and consider whether your expectations are reasonable for your child’s age and stage.

• Make your limits clear, firm, and consistent. Then your child will know what to expect.

• Stay calm. Speak and act calmly, even if your child is out of control.

• Present limits in a neutral manner. This lets your child understand that the limit is not a punishment.

• Use the word cooperation. Make sure that you recognize and acknowledge him when he cooperates.

• Understand the feelings provoked by your child’s behavior. Stay in the present, without reverting to your own childhood experiences.

• Use limit-setting for problem solving. As your child gets older, setting limits includes problem solving together!